Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Chance it

Hello! Welcome to part two of the amazingness that is Jurassic Park (you can read part one here). We spared no expense. I've had to break it up yet again because, well, it's just so awesome and it's really hard to cut bits out.
Hold onto your butts..
So much for our first tour, two no shows and a sick triceratops. 
It could have been worse, John. It could have been a lot worse.
You know it, Samuel L. Jackson! By the way, why did they change your name? I'm pretty sure you're only ever referred to as Mr. Arnold, but IMDB tells me your character's name is Ray Arnold. In the book his name is John, which I love because there is already another character named John. It's cool because it's so true to life... of course there'd be two Johns in one workplace. It's the little details like that that are cool.

 Anyone want a soda or something? 
No, but I'd really like your mug. And I like your glasses as well while you're offering things.

 Please Nedry, if you're not giving your mug or glasses away can I please at least have some dinosaur embryos? I'd really love the Tyrannosaurus! But please make sure it's spelled correctly.

 As a glasses wearer who has driven in a steamed up car in the rain, I feel your pain.

 Uh uh uh! You didn't say the magic word. 
I'd love to say this to children. Maybe I could annoy them into being polite.
God damn this hacker crap!

 Are they heavy? Then they're expensive. Put them back.
That's my dad right there. I would have put them back, though. Because I was a perfect child, obviously.

 Maybe it's the power trying to come back on?
LOLZ!! It isn't!!

What happened to the goat??
 It served it's purpose.

 Chompity chomp chomp. I love goat!

 Where does he think he's going?
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
I love how calm these two are as they joke about Genaro. While there's a fully grown T. Rex chomping down on a goat just outside the window. Oh, and those electric fences aren't working.

 Lex, you idiot, turn the light off. We're not out in the paddock checking for West Indian lilac poisoning. Her pupils are fine.

 Here's the hero. Showing us how to casually distract a T. Rex.

 Ian freeze! You're pretty cool, you'll never have my flare skills!

 As humiliating as this death is, I'd definately prefer it to something ordinary like a heart attack or cancer. RIP lawyer guy.

 Are we pretty much in agreeance that this is all Lex's fault? If she didn't shine the light in poor Rexy's eyes, she would have just wandered off to find something bigger and tastier to eat. And then once Rexy was distracted with trying to digest a lawyer, Lex has to start screaming. You know, I think she WANTS to get eaten.

 Out of the whole movie, this is the only part that annoys me. The paddock was the same level as the cars before. Now there's a drop of about 50 feet (that was a guess, I have no idea about distances). What's doing there, Spielberg?

 This is the most terrifying dinosaur I have ever seen. It just looks so vicious. 

 We're back in the car again.
At least we're out of the tree.

 Yes! Team Shorts have come to save the day! I like that even though there were five people in those cars, they only bother yelling out to Dr Grant. I get it. We all know who we'd rather find.

 I think this used to be lawyer guy.
I think this did, too.

 Should we chance moving him?
Yes, chance it.

 Anybody here that? It's um... an impact tremor is what it is.

 I'm fairly alarmed here.

 Must go faster, must go faster.

I know he is probably meant to be protecting Ellie in a chivalrous manner, but to me it will always just look like he's copping a feel. 

Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Part three coming soon!

Part 3


  1. that annoying 50 foot drop has always bothered me too, glad you caught it, it makes you all the more dinosexy!