Hold onto your butts

We'll get straight into it, shall we? Here's the final Jurassic Park post (read part one and part two first). Of course, being the finale, and containing all the raptors, this is the longest one. Be prepared for picture overload.

 So we've escaped the T. Rex and out-climbed a car. Must be time for bed? Pretty sure I'd be insisting we keep walking and get the hell out of that park. Are dinosaurs nocturnal? Who cares? We're not stopping. And I'm sorry, but I don't feel safe in a tree. Dinosaurs were pretty tall.

 I don't like that Grant threw away his raptor claw fossil. Can I have it? It'd go really good with my mug and glasses. Also, he should be able to see into the future in Jurassic Park 3 where he used the replica voice chamber thing to communicate with the raptors. If they respected that, I think they would respect a dude who's holding a part of their anatomy.

 So we're stopping to shop, yes?

 I'll take the Making of Jurassic Park book. And I can't say no to a stamp set.

 God bless you!

 Grant says sex at least twice while explaining how the dinosaurs are breeding. Those kids are super mature. If that was me and my brother we'd be giggling.

 Spielberg felt the need to slowly zoom in on this.

 I think we can all see why.

 You're welcome.

 Hold onto your butts.

 Uh.. galla.. galifianakis.

 They're uh.. flocking this way.

I feel sorry for Lex. Tim gets all the cool lines.

 So much blood...

 So Ellie and Shorts McGee are going to go see if they can turn the power back on. Colonel Sanders tells them that it's not going to be a walk in the park. They get guns. How come we're worried all of a sudden? We had no problem letting Samuel L. Jackson stroll over and turn the power on not too long ago.

 Derp! I think that leg's still a bit sore.

 We can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back.

You go, Ellie!

 Now I understand the guns. Gotta protect those legs.

 GO BACK INSIDE NOW! 

 We're being hunted.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the way his hat flaps up, maybe it's because he turns into Douchebag McHunterson, but I just don't like him here. Which is saying a lot, because I judge a person's character by their legs, and so far he was winning that game.

 Keeping the kids entertained in the face of danger. Word.

 When I watched this with my dad, he told me that if someone was electrocuted their hands would clamp onto the wire and they would fry, not get shot off the wire. Electrical stuff was never my strong area in science, and I still don't know who to believe, my dad or Steven Spielberg.

 Our first real look at those raptors. Still not as scary looking as dilophosaurus.

 Oh, Ray/John it's so good to see you.

 Blerg! Maybe not.

 Don't just sit there crying. You are not safe. You are now on the same side of the fence as the guy who just told you that you were being hunted.

 Clever girl.

 This was honestly the first time I ever saw the raptor in this shot. I was always focusing on the snake. See what you can find when you're constantly pausing.

 Three.

 Why is there so much food? They only had a few guests. Is that for the staff? I want to work there now. I don't care if my face gets eaten off by a raptor.

 A still picture does not do justice to just how much wobble she gets on that jelly.

 This was a moment that I didn't understand as a kid. Everyone was freaking out but I couldn't see the dinosaur they were worried about. I guess I should have been taken to the optometrist earlier than age 14.

 Oh yeah, they can totes open doors now.

 This is the most terrifying scene ever. Go on, argue with me ;) I know every single second of this scene by heart and I still jump and get nervous.

 Probably because all I can think of is this.. a six inch retractable claw... slashing me.. spilling my intestines... being alive while they eat me.

 TIM YOU'RE SCARING ME!

 I would like a pet raptor, I think.

 Lex redeems herself here. I love my brothers, but there's no way I'm getting stuck in a kitchen cabinet while a dinosaur charges at me just to save them.

 People.. please don't grab anyone from behind! We don't need any unnecessary scares!

 It's a UNIX system! I know this! 

(I don't. But it looks like it works better than my laptop which is about 15 years younger)

 Tim, this is where I get mad at you. These guys are struggling to keep the door shut. They also really need that gun.

 Instead of walking over there and handing them the gun, you have to hang off the back of your sister's chair and annoy the crap out of her while she tries to save you all. Use your brain, dude.

 Mr. Hammond, the phones are working.

 OH, WILL YOU JUST GO AWAY PLEASE? WE GET IT, YOU'RE SMART AND SCARY. I DON'T WANT YOU FOR A PET ANYMORE. I NEED ALONE TIME!

 Mr. Hammond, I've decided not to endorse your park.

So have I.

 Like a boss.

 Haha.. Ur ass park. 

It's late. I should go to bed.

Grant! What I have I said about sneaking up behind people? Not cool man, not cool. You'll give the poor guy a heart attack.

Well, that's it. Thanks for hanging in there. I hope I've inspired at least one person to go watch this and become as obsessed with it as I am.

Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend.